Parenting and Step-families Articles

Techniques for Effective Discipline 
by Jayne A. Major, Ph.D. 1. Are there communication techniques that will prevent power struggles? Communication Skills – In a discipline situation, DO NOT use commands or questions. a. Commands: Do the thinking for the child. Sit down. Be quiet. Commands don’t invite a conversation so that win/win problem solving can occur. It makes it seem like the adult is the only one that knows the answers. b. Questions: Most people use questions so automatically that it is like breathing. Questions have the effect of handing over too much power to the child. Children can easily […]

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Meet the Children

How to introduce your children to your new “special friend.” 
By John Gray, Ph.D. You now realize that it’s time to introduce your children to the person who has been sharing your life these past few months. In the past, every time you’ve thought about doing this, a hard knot has formed in your stomach — the result of anxiety mixed with trepidation. You’re thinking: “How will my kids react to the fact that I’m in a new relationship? If they resent it, will they take out their anger on my lover? Will my lover be able to stick it […]

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Property Division in a Grey Divorce

By Marlo Van Oorschot The division of property is a major issue in grey divorce, and for most couples over the age of 50 their house is the largest asset they own. Traditionally, for the majority of homeowners, the value of their home is two-thirds of their total assets. And the latest figures from the Census Bureau show that 76% of people age 50 to59 and 80% of those aged 60 to 69 are homeowners-with well over 80% of all homeowners being married couples. Such statistics show that, even in today’s economic climate, the majority of couples in grey divorce […]

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High Conflict Divorce

Court Programs to Treat and Prevent High-Conflict Divorce Courts don’t typically have one, standard approach to dealing with high-conflict divorces. Instead, family courts throughout the United States have instituted counseling and therapeutic programs, parent education classes, and mediation programs to help reduce the conflict in ongoing postdivorce disputes. The different kinds of interventions that have developed in this country have arisen out of the needs of courts, judges, and attorneys as well as the experience and clinical expertise of therapists and counselors. Both mediation and parent education programs seem to predominate in court systems. Divorce mediation has been viewed since […]

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After the Cheating

Reworking and rebuilding a relationship after infidelity isn’t easy, but neither is dissolving one. By Sheri Meyers, Psy.D “What am I supposed to do? I have a constant pain in my gut. I can’t even look at my husband without getting nauseous or crying. Do I continue to cook his meals? Sleep with him? He wants to play golf this weekend. I’m thinking I want to separate. I don’t want a divorce, but I am ambivalent about staying and opening my heart to him again. Is there hope?” 

YES, there is hope! Most couples I’ve worked with who have successfully […]

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The Forensic CPA — Your Ally in Divorce

By Lee Gould and Fred Lieber Let’s first dispel a popular misconception: Forensic does not mean dealing with the dead, as in Forensic Pathology’s well known Dr. Quincy. Black’s Law Dictionary defines Forensic as “Belonging to courts of justice”. Breathe a sigh of relief-Divorce and Death are not joined at the hip!! Often, a participant in a divorce is forced to address a significant amount of financial detail for the first time. This, of course, is in addition to all of the other practical and emotional considerations affecting their lives. Spouses generally understand the basics of the family finances, but […]

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